It feels like rape....

I didn't understand until a moment ago. I've been running my day through my head over and over. First, the former friend who felt my advice was out-of-bounds, which would have been fine had she allowed me to respond rather than blocking me on facebook. I was even willing to apologize for some points, if not all.

Then, the trip to the doctor. Which was surreal, at best. First, I had to take Annie along - she had a tummy ache this morning. So as I'm sitting talking to the doc with Annie, he asks her if she knows why we have earwax. Huh? It's not really like Annie cares. But he explains: we produce ear wax to protect the inner ear. He then goes on to "proclaim" that "how could that be explained by evolution? Like that just happened?!"

Well, yeah doc, it just happened. Sorta like you just "happened" to make it through Medical School.

Sweet baby jeebus. I have know for 5 years that my doctor was a conservative - it took me a few visits to figure it out because I was really high on painkillers at the time - but I came to the conclusion early on that he was conservative, but harmless.

That was 5 years ago. Over the years, I've dealt with he and his wife's gung ho military commitment, his Christianity, and his narrow views. You should meet his kids away from the office - they bear no resemblance to their parents.

But today, when his wife decided to "pray" for me, I felt violated. It was like a spiritual rape. Because I knew these people, and I had trusted them, tolerated them, and felt like they had tolerated me. Until today.

And I KNOW rape, folks. I've been there, more than once. And there is nothing worse than feeling raped by someone you know and trust. And there is nothing harder than admitting that you feel that someone you know and trust has violated you.

And I have to admit, today, as this woman I previously liked decided to "pray" over me, it felt just like rape. And just as the times I was previously raped, I was afraid to say "No." I was afraid to speak my mind, to defend myself.

I may not ever go back to my doctor, actually. I'm not sure how I'll swing that, but I really don't think I can go back there. I felt spiritually raped today. I felt like someone else had taken my will, discarded my wishes, and imposed their own.

And that my friend, is rape.