I've been depressed for a few days now...

And then I realized, after watching a hilarious Monty-Pythonesque rendition of Shakespeare on youtube with my kids, that darn it, being depressed doesn't change a damn thing. And what I want, more than anything right now, is change.

However, the only way to create change is through effort. Effort is hard when you're depressed. But nothing changes if you don't make a decision to do something - then do it.

And that's the problem. So many kids in the state I grew up in become so depressed, they either give up and try to fit the mold their families and communities created for them, or they give up and become addicted to substances, or worse yet, end their lives.

I want to do something about that. I want to give these kids an 'out'. I want to give them someone to turn to when they feel like they have NO ONE they can talk to. I want to help them avoid what I went through. I want to give them hope.

But I'm not really sure how to accomplish that. I've started a facebook group, but that's not much. I need contacts in Texas. I need people to work with, people to support this effort. Because we need to overcome this prejudice, and the shame associated with being gay in the South. We have so *much* we need to do.

We have thousands of kids out there struggling with their identity. Many of them have been brought up in religious environments that make them feel like horrible people because they find themselves attracted to the same sex. And I'm not just talking about GAY kids here - I'm also talking about Bisexuals, transgendered kids, AND gay kids.

We have a large population of adolescents and young people we do very little for. We leave them to their families and communities, many of which are not exactly supportive of their personal, internal experiences. Not that I think they're intentionally non-supportive. Some of them just don't know better, or were just brought up to believe certain things. That doesn't make them bad. But it does make them ill-equipped to help a child dealing with these issues.

When someone is brought up in a religiously conservative environment, the realization that one does not "fit-in" can be overwhelming. Often to the point of self-abusive or suicidal behavior. I don't believe these people want to lose their kids to this kind of depression. But I do believe a lot of these kids need our help.

And I don't think some of these folks are equipped to help them. That's why I think we need more grassroots effort to give these kids the support they need. If it keeps one kid from killing themselves out of shame, it would be worthwhile.

In San Francisco, there has been a long-standing Gay & Lesbian center. No such thing exists in Austin. Even the GSA (gay-straight-alliance) organizations in High Schools are scarce in Texas. And it's time we correct that. These kids NEED our help. They need to know that realizing they are gay is not the end of their world.

Because the fact is, some kids are gay. They can't help that. They can't change that. Believe me, I tried, for over 25 years. Guess what? I was still gay. And I am not alone there. I have met many people in the last 4 years who didn't even admit they were gay until their 30's or 40's.

Being gay is not a choice. Believe me, if it were, I wouldn't be gay. No one wants to be ostracized, or disowned, or hated by people you've never met. But it's something we have to face when we come out, especially for some of us in the South. Places like Texas, and other Southern states, are not exactly hospitable when you come out as gay - or even Bi. God help you if you're transgendered.

But the fact is, these issues come up fairly early for most kids. Like the 4-year-old I had in a pre-school class in the late 80's, who spent his time playing with My Little Ponies with the girls. The child was constantly abused by his peers - despite my best efforts. And the fact is, until the parents down South realize that tolerance is an admirable trait, it will continue.

But people down here won't *learn* tolerance until they understand that even their family members might be part of the glbt community. And those members of the glbt community who are either hiding in the closet, or killing themselves to avoid the pain of ostracization, will not "come out" until we give them a safe means of doing so. Their families won't provide that. So it's up to the rest of us.

It's on our heads when these kids die, or condemn themselves to a miserable marriage to avoid their families rejection. They can't always do this alone. Sometimes, they need help. They need support, like any human being. Maybe that's why the Christian Right really fears books like "My Two Mommies" in school libraries. Maybe that's why they fear gay people - because they fear that their relatives will come out of the closet. Because they're there. I know they are. I was. And they have to know they're there, too.

But those people won't help them. They'll encourage their repression. And that has to change. We have to make that change, by providing an outlet for these people. WE have to give them someone to talk to, who isn't going to judge them based on who or what they are, or who they're attracted to. We have to be the family that isn't always available to them.

Again, it's not that their families are "bad". It's just that glbt folks have been so closeted in the South for so long, that a lot of these families haven't had the chance to get used to the idea. It's as much the fault of those of us who remained closeted, as the relatives who encouraged us to. But the only way to break that cycle is to give people somebody to talk to. We need PR, people.

We need a way to hook up distraught and desperate people struggling with their status to people who will listen. We need to provide a supportive environment for kids who are thinking they'd be better off dead. We need to reach out more. Help more. Judge less.

It's a seed right now. I don't know exactly what to do with it. I have ideas. I will explore them. But if anyone reading has ideas or suggestions to share, I am entirely open to that. Just don't tell me I'm gonna burn in hell. I've been there. I have a few scars, but none of them were burn marks.