Mans inhumanity to man...

It's a fact. There is no God in anyone's belief system more cruel and inhumane than human beings can be to each other.

I came to this conclusion a few years ago after participating in a 12-step program that insisted I must have a "god of my understanding." My understanding of reality leaves no room for a god. Yes, I've heard the argument of "free will." I don't buy it. If there truly was a loving god, it wouldn't have created so many people capable of such horrible atrocities. Natural disasters wouldn't wipe out hundreds or thousands of lives at a time. There is no room in my perception of reality for a "loving god with a will" for me.

Now, it was a long road for me from accepting that I do not believe in god, and accepting those who do. But I have managed to develop a reluctant acceptance for those that attempt to force their god down my throat. They believe the things they say, they bought into it early on, I understand that. I understand that it helps them make sense of the injustice in the world. It just doesn't work that way for me.

To me, there is reality, and there is religion. The two don't cross paths in my head. I see the world, and the people in it. I don't see imaginary beings with a benevolent will for me in that world. And there is a damn good reason for that.

Now, this might be indicative of psychopathology on my part, but I read about crime. I seek it out. And I feel for every victim of crime. I cry. Because I don't understand it. Anything I don't understand, I seek to unravel. I *want* to understand why these people do horrible things to other people - mainly because I believe that deep down, there has to be a way to stop people from doing these things. I believe humanity is not meant to demonstrate the kind of cruelty it does, and I want to know *why* people do these things.


Still, it's painful to hear about. Parents killing their kids. Men killing their entire families. No, women don't do that - they will kill their children or themselves, but not their boyfriend or spouse. Look at the cases - it doesn't happen, and I don't know why. Then there's the 15 y.o. in Missouri who killed the 9 y.o. because she "wanted to know what it felt like to kill someone." How does this happen? What goes wrong in the heart or soul or brain of someone capable of indiscriminately taking another life?

There is no shortage of examples of violence of this sort. The mother accused of prostituting her child, who was later found murdered. The psychiatrist who killed 13 at Ft. Hood. Man is capable of abominable violence - even against those you would expect them to love. The man who entered a gym this year and indiscriminately murdered women he didn't even know. Honestly, the list is long and depressing. The last year alone would bring you down.

And I want to understand. I want to fix it. I want to keep it from happening. And I feel so powerless to change it. I wish sometimes that I *could* believe in a god, and blame it all on it's unfathomable will. But I can't. I can't help that I believe people are responsible for these atrocities - not some god. No god I would want on my side would even allow the violence against people that other people have bestowed on them. If I were a god that had created such a people, I would slit my throat. It would be justice.

Every act of violence diminishes us. It takes a life that should have continued. It brings grief on those who love the victim. It sometimes creates even more violence. That's no way to live.

Consequently, I'm torn on the death penalty. Do I condone the death of a human who I really think is less than human? Philosophically, that puts me on their level, no? But I still, deep down, think there are some people so defective and evil that they really should be eliminated. I mean, think about it - prisoners can marry. They can have conjugal visits. I really don't want these people to breed. If what made them what they are was a hard-wired brain issue, I don't want their progeny on my earth.

So, deep down, I do believe in the death penalty. I wouldn't hesitate to kill rats or mice or cockroaches contaminating my home. I view killers with a similar philosophy. Maybe that makes me bad, I don't know. It's hard to say.

But more than anything, I want to understand the mechanisms that make people do these things. Somewhere, there is an etiology. Somewhere, there is a solution. Somehow, we have to find it. I don't care if it violates people's privacy. That's a small fucking price to pay to identify problems before they result in death or abuse. It's like drunk driving - fine, drawing blood might violate your perceived civil rights - but if you are putting other people at risk with your blood alcohol level, why shouldn't you get caught? Especially if it spares someone down the road.

From hate crimes to child abuse and murder, to the senseless death of a friend of a friend - there's no reason to tolerate this. There's no reason not to actively and aggressively seek answers. To attempt to save lives by identifying the diseases and thought processes that lead to this misery and injustice. There just has to be a better way.

To me, we are god. And we must look after ourselves - and each other.

You know, I could be writing for money right now...

As minuscule as that generally is. However, something more important is on my mind than the issue of Civil Rights in Austin alone. People, individual people, are on my mind right now.

I have made some incredible friends on Facebook - people from all walks of life. Gay, straight, male, female or other - I've just met some incredible people I wouldn't have met without this social networking tool. The fascinating thing to me is that I am SO much better for having met them.

I've been exposed to ideas and attitudes I might not have encountered in real life - probably wouldn't have in Texas. There have been disagreements, yes. People who have even blocked me. But really, they just couldn't handle the fact that I speak what I think, or they had their own shit to deal with and couldn't handle the conflict. And let's face it, I tend to encourage that sort of thing. The rest, and there are far more of those, are able to conduct dialogue. We discuss. We debate. We learn. We learn from each other.

In 1993, when I first got on the internet, there was little to be found. 1200 baud, and nary a snippet of information to be googled - actually, Google wasn't even invented yet. It was frustrating. Mainly because I felt there *should* be more online. So much knowledge, living in SO many heads! Why wasn't it there?!

As you can see, I was impatient. My expectations exceeded the age of the medium. It hadn't "grown up" yet. Apparently, neither had I.

It was a few years before the internet began to grudgingly meet my expectations - not that I helped much. I wanted it now, but it didn't occur to me that I could contribute. Fact is, I wouldn't have known where to begin. I was still figuring out the autoexec.bat file on Windows...I was slightly nerdy - but I wasn't an activist yet.

Then, around 99', I began selling books online. At first it was just looking up books I had cataloged for my FIL's library. But after my FIL died, my almost-late-ex commandeered a lot of his books, and suggested I sell some of them online to make ends meet. I regret that. I loved those books, as well as my FIL Palmer, and the proceeds really should have gone to my late MIL, but that's another nightmare. As I've said in past posts - wait for the memoir.

Anyway, by 99' I was spending a lot more time online. The available info was still marginal. But there were more people. This was mostly mailing lists. But they were interesting, sometimes scary, people. People with ideas I had never really thought about. People who were outspoken, sometimes vitriolic, but always true to themselves. I was in love.

I haven't spent a great deal of time offline since - well, yes, I have had a life, but I never completely lost touch. I discovered a whole new world online. People I could discuss, argue and debate ideas with. Something I seldom encountered in childhood. It was magical to me. Even when I took the brunt of it. It was amazing! You could actually *disagree* with people here. And the sky didn't fall! Even better, you could disagree, and people would STILL talk to you!

The best part, to me, was at some of the most trying points in my life, those people I met online were still there for me. They supported me, and saw me through the worst. I'll never forget that.

And in the years since, I've had the opportunity, no - privilege, of being there for other people. People I had met online. Friends. As well as people just coming out of the closet - some of whom I met in real life as well - and people struggling with family and circumstances. I have been allowed to be a friend. I have been able to be an advocate, as well. I'm incredibly grateful for that. It's why I'm out. And it's part of why I love the net.

And you know, I could do a whole blog on that alone. On how fantastic it is to connect with other people - including people like me - gay people, some of whom have felt oppressed and afraid to be themselves - but as ecstatic as I am to have made their acquaintance, there is so much more to my online experience.

I've met people of all stripes. Straight boys, gay boys, straight girls, gay girls, and prolly a lot of 'tweeners, although I don't pry, so I can't say. But the people I have met have enriched my life. You have each expanded my experience - every one of you. You have helped me understand that there are all kinds of experiences, and none of us should judge them. As the saying goes "walk a mile in my shoes", or something to that effect.

Years ago, when I broke my addiction to the painkillers that saw me through the final 10 years of my last heterosexual marriage, I went to 12-step meetings. Honestly, they drove me nuts, because they're so god-centered, and I'm not. But the sponsor I had there tried to help me understand that we can't judge other people on our experiences. We have to understand theirexperiences. We have to seek to understand, rather than be understood.

Yes, as a gay woman, and parent of a gay child, I want equality for my kind. I demand it. But I also understand the people having trouble accepting it. I don't agree with them, and I think the issue will have to be settled on a Federal level. But I do understand their confusion and anger. I understand WHY they do the stupid things they do. And I feel bad for them. If the tables were reversed, I don't think they would deal nearly as well as we have.

No Christian has EVER been murdered in America because of their faith. Yet these people are deluded into believing they are persecuted, while gay and transgendered people are murdered because of who they are. I could demand that they grow up and face facts, but that wouldn't make it happen. That's why I insist we must have Federal action. We must teach these people their beliefs are wrong. They do not know better, as sad as that is.

But you know, what brought me to this point - rather than raging at the injustice of idiots - is this: people are complicated. The psychology of how we exist is complicated. How we are raised. The societal influences we face - including religion. There is nothing simple about humans. And above all, we are an irrational lot.

I think of it this way: when we are kids we create a lot of concepts, and memories, that really have no relation to reality. That's how kids are. To me, the people who hate on 'the gays' are just people who haven't grown up. Some of them never will, sadly. And that's why we need a Federal law. We need the country to tell EVERYONE that "yes, you do have to accept these people and allow them their rights." It's the only way some of them will learn, sadly.

We pay the same taxes. We're all adults. We deserve the same rights. Seems simple. But if left to the general population, i.e. voters, it's not so simple. We deal with psychology, both in real life and on the net - and especially in the voting booth. But the net has taught me to have far more tolerance than I had in real life. It's given me a greater understanding of people, and where and how to seek my equal rights.

But above all, it's taught me we all have things in common - even when we think we do not. It's taught me to have patience, to seek results where they might realistically be available, and above all, to forgive. I may not like some people, but I can sure as hell have empathy for them - even when they are severely fucked up. But I do not expect them to grant my freedom. I expect my Government to do that. And if it doesn't, well, when the youngest moves out, I'm just going to quit filing taxes and sue the fucking government for failing to represent me.

My kids will visit me :)

One year later...

Same bat time, same bat channel.

It was like a case of Deja Vu - except I was kind of expecting it this time. I'll admit, Prop 8 caught me totally off guard. Question 1 didn't. I know what happens when the rights of the few are handed over to the ballot box of the many.

I'll admit, I'm disappointed. I am not, however, shocked - as I was in November of 2008. When groups like NOM, and large religious groups (the Mormons in CA, the Catholics in Maine) are allowed to contribute to political campaigns, the result is always such.

What most people don't understand is *why* it works this way. To me, it's pretty simple. Bear in mind, I grew up in a Southern Baptist environment, and was shuttled into a conservative Lutheran church in adolescence. But enough of those experiences stuck with me to understand this: People fear God.

So after being subjected to the dishonest NOM ads, and the Catholic lectures about how homosexuality is an abomination, and passing marriage equality would mean homosexuality would be taught to your children in school, well, let's just say some of these voters had overwhelming religious reasons to vote Yes on 1.

Think of it this way, as a fully indoctrinated conservative Christian of any stripe - who has been taught to fear and abhor homosexuality - what would you feel walking up to the voting booth? Well, if I still bought into that garbage, I'd feel like God was watching me, and judging me. I'd be worried about going to hell if I voted "wrong."

That's what these people are taught - and what NOM and the Catholic church reinforced in their rallies, speeches, and ads in Maine. They guilt-ed these people into voting Yes on 1. Much as they did in California on Prop 8. I don't hold the people responsible - but I do hold a political process that allows these people to vote on the rights of people who may or may not share their religious faith responsible.

Civil Rights are not something to be "voted" on. If it were, do you honestly think black and white couples would be able to marry today? People complain about how there's no comparison between the Black community's struggle for Equal Rights and GLBT rights - but I say those people are wrong.

What it comes down to is this - we are different, GLBT's. We are not hetero-normative families, and we have ALWAYS been denied equal rights in this country. We even have a better argument than the African-American slaves did - we PAY TAXES! We pay for rights we are not allowed. We pay for heterosexual benefits - yet we are denied those same benefits.

We might not be slaves in the technical sense of the word, but, by (your) god, we are slaves. We contribute monies to your - "your" being all the heterosexual families in this country - retirement and benefit systems. Yet, our families do not benefit from those dollars. If that isn't a form of slavery - or extortion - I don't know what is!

If heterosexuals were expected to pour tax dollars into a tax system they did not benefit from, how loud do you think they would protest? A whole lot louder than we have, for certain. A gay man or woman cannot even sponsor a spouse from a foreign country in America. Yet, our tax dollars assure that a heterosexual man or woman can. Many gay couples cannot obtain insurance for their partner or children - yet heterosexuals can. The families of our partners can drive up upon their death and take everything - they can't do that to legally married couples, now can they?

The fact is, there are gay families in America. There have been for years. Yet, those families are denied rights that they PAY for. There is no justice in that. But the religious organizations that are allowed to launch campaigns in an effort to vote away our rights never discuss these issues. They know they would lose if they did. Instead, they pull the religion card, and dismiss our rights legally by asserting that we would somehow corrupt their children and destroy their families.

Sorry, Maggie, but my mom was straight. And your argument is laughable.

It's time for reform. It's time to stop allowing churches and religious organizations like NOM to participate in the voting process. It's time to take Religion firmly out of Civil Rights - and politics in general. It's time to change the laws that allow these fear-mongerers to influence the political process.

It's time for change, folks. Real change.

It feels like rape....

I didn't understand until a moment ago. I've been running my day through my head over and over. First, the former friend who felt my advice was out-of-bounds, which would have been fine had she allowed me to respond rather than blocking me on facebook. I was even willing to apologize for some points, if not all.

Then, the trip to the doctor. Which was surreal, at best. First, I had to take Annie along - she had a tummy ache this morning. So as I'm sitting talking to the doc with Annie, he asks her if she knows why we have earwax. Huh? It's not really like Annie cares. But he explains: we produce ear wax to protect the inner ear. He then goes on to "proclaim" that "how could that be explained by evolution? Like that just happened?!"

Well, yeah doc, it just happened. Sorta like you just "happened" to make it through Medical School.

Sweet baby jeebus. I have know for 5 years that my doctor was a conservative - it took me a few visits to figure it out because I was really high on painkillers at the time - but I came to the conclusion early on that he was conservative, but harmless.

That was 5 years ago. Over the years, I've dealt with he and his wife's gung ho military commitment, his Christianity, and his narrow views. You should meet his kids away from the office - they bear no resemblance to their parents.

But today, when his wife decided to "pray" for me, I felt violated. It was like a spiritual rape. Because I knew these people, and I had trusted them, tolerated them, and felt like they had tolerated me. Until today.

And I KNOW rape, folks. I've been there, more than once. And there is nothing worse than feeling raped by someone you know and trust. And there is nothing harder than admitting that you feel that someone you know and trust has violated you.

And I have to admit, today, as this woman I previously liked decided to "pray" over me, it felt just like rape. And just as the times I was previously raped, I was afraid to say "No." I was afraid to speak my mind, to defend myself.

I may not ever go back to my doctor, actually. I'm not sure how I'll swing that, but I really don't think I can go back there. I felt spiritually raped today. I felt like someone else had taken my will, discarded my wishes, and imposed their own.

And that my friend, is rape.

Okay straight boys, what's up with this?

Now, I'm as about as understanding of men as any lesbian you'll meet. No, really, I am. After spending 25 years trying to convince myself I found males physically attractive, you can clearly see that I *obviously* got along with men to some degree.

I am NOT a man-hating lesbian, despite the last asshole who posted that repeatedly on my facebook and examiner.com column. I actually like most guys - as long as they can refrain from seeing me as fresh meat.

I mean, let's be honest here. Even most straight girls don't like being viewed as something to be conquered, unless that's a particular fetish of theirs. Most women like - and in fact would prefer - some degree of respect. It's ironic, really. I'll get to that in a minute.

When I was driving a cab, one of the first, and biggest, assholes I ran across was this dreadlocked asshole I picked up at the cab stand on 6th and San Jacinto. His first words were: "I bet I'm not as big an asshole as most of the guys who get in your cab!"

He then proceeded to prove himself horribly wrong.

His argument was one of tunnel vision: I couldn't possibly be gay, because evolution argued against it. Never mind the fact I had already managed to have 4 kids in heterosexual relationships. I just couldn't be gay. According to him.

We went through this for a good twenty minutes before I pulled over on Highway 71 and told him to get the fuck outta my cab. Had I had more experience, I would have just called the cops on him, but I was still a newbie. But he wasn't the last obnoxious straight guy who questioned my sexuality.

Now, bear in mind, I'm pretty visibly gay. I can only imagine what gay girls who look like any other girl go through once people learn they're gay. But what these people just don't grasp is how horribly insulting that is. When you are gay, growing up in a heteronormative society, you are constantly exposed to the idea that heterosexuality is the "norm."

Imagine, for a moment, that you are gay. You see couples, male and female, all the time. Families consist of men and women. Marriages consist of men and women. You are TAUGHT that the norm is male/female. But you're a boy who likes boys, or a girls who likes girls. Where the hell do you fit in?

Well, in heteronormative society, you don't. There is no place for you in the "traditional" family. You're different. If society were predominately Gay - then the hetero people would have the same issue. But since society is primarily heterosexual, YOU are different. And it takes GREAT courage to come out of the closet under those terms. Bless the girls and boys who understood that early on, but truth-be-told, a lot of us don't 'get it' until later in life.

It's not easy being gay (yes, I heard the Kermit joke in that too). It's not something we want to hear arguments about "why you should be hetero" or jokes about "that's so gay". You get sick of that shit. You didn't choose to be gay. You are. You know that. You cannot change that.

But when people - both those you've just met, as well as those you know well (including relatives) make comments or jokes like "are you sure?" or "how is that possible?", well, it's just freaking insulting. For me, it's frankly enough to piss me off royally.

I had a friend - I say had, because I deleted him on Facebook this weekend, despite having known him on a mailing list for years - who kept making jokes about lesbians that, frankly, offended the hell out of me. The first "joke" came a couple of months ago. He commented on a post I made about gay marriage. His reply was a long, involved scenario of why lesbians should be able to marry so he could hide in a tree and peep at them as they had sex. It was ludicrous, and I deleted it.

This weekend, I posted a facebook status about my 21-y.o. going downtown for the first time, with her sister and BIL to celebrate her birthday earlier this month. I joked in my first reply to him that I told her sister to "make sure she kisses a girl." He replied with this:

"C'mon, Michelle. Fairness dictates that hetero boys should at least have the opportunity to make asses of themselves before the young lady decides to opt out of the program. Our survival as a species is kinda dependent on adherence to these small, but vital, tacit understandings."

So. That ain't funny. No, not at all. So I deleted it and told him I understood he was just trying to be humorous, but it wasn't. He responded by stating I wasn't the spokesperson for all gay people, and that my daughter could handle the humor better than I could and - get this - that he's on MY SIDE.

Oh, fuck no. Anybody who spouts that shit after what each of us goes through accepting that we are different from "straight" people - oh, hell no. You aren't on my side. You aren't on my kid's side. You are a misogynistic asshole - and deserve to be called out on it.

Word up, guys. If a woman is a lesbian, it is not a personal rejection of your "manhood." It means she prefers girls. It means that is how she's wired. And hostility 'hidden' in humor is not hidden at all. It's fairly obvious.

There's enough misogyny in modern America without this shit. But you know what? This is exactly WHY so many women wind up marrying men when they really want to be with women. It's even more rampant among women than men. Women are trained from birth to heed societal expectations. And men like this just throw it in their faces when they come out of the closet. Trust me, there are a LOT more lesbians out there than you suspect. But most of them are afraid of upsetting the patriarchal cart.

Instead, they post on craigslist when the boys are out of town. Or their husbands find them in bed with a woman when they return home unexpectedly (and yes, I know at least two guys this happened to). Or they finally meet a girl and realize what they've denied for years. Men - grow up. Not every woman wants you. And that's okay. In fact, you're better off accepting it. Why would you want a woman who found sleeping with you repulsive, anyway?

There are plenty of straight or Bi girls out there who will dig you. So grow up, and let the queer girls have their happiness. Trust me, if you could ask my dead husband, he'd agree - it just ain't worth it. Any effort you make to convince someone to be something they aren't is effort wasted. But even worse, it's unfair.

Nobody tried to make you gay, did they? Don't try to make us straight. Live and let live, accept yourself, and accept others. We will all find far more peace that way.

But act like an ass, and boy, expect to be called out on it. Because that shit is misogyny, and it will not be tolerated.

Where to begin?

This blog began as a result of Prop 8. It was a result of my absolute despair that a state could give rights to GLBT people that we should already have as tax-paying citizens, then yank them away as a result of a "majority" vote. When, historically, has it been okay to vote on other citizen's rights? Never, that's when.

So today, as I watched my brothers and sisters - and their supporters - march on the Capitol, as I listened to the speeches, I was reminded once again. Why SHOULD we accept second-class citizenship? Who, in their right mind, would accept being held to the same standards, and the same tax obligations as we are, yet accept a form of citizenship that degrades, humiliates, and debases us?

Why should anyone live that way?

I'm at a loss folks. When I was playing a straight-white-middle-class-housewife, there's no way in hell I would have accepted my current status. And I'll be damned if I'll accept it now. It is not enough. It is not GOOD enough.

Now, as for why I'm angry right-this-minute, go to gay.americablog.com

The particular quote in question is as follows:

NBC just did a piece about today's gay rights march in Washington. For the political context of the gay community's ire, NBC went to Chief Washington Correspondent John Harwood. Harwood was asked if the White House was worried about "the left as a whole," and concerns they have that the White House isn't doing things that "the left" expected them to do. Harwood said the following:

"Barack Obama is doing well with 90% or more of Democrats so the White House views this opposition as really part of the Internet left fringe."

Harwood then went on to say:

"For a sign of how seriously the White House does or doesn't take this opposition, one adviser told me those bloggers need to take off the pajamas, get dressed, and realize that governing a closely divided country is complicated and difficult."

Funny, I didn't see any marchers in PJ's, did you? I, personally, am in my P.J.'s. I work at home - so I have the right and privilege of working in them when I feel like it. I didn't hire on to run a country. Obama did.

And so far, what I have seen out of President Obama is a lot of talk. Frankly, I'm appalled that he won the Nobel - and I think he is, too. Even he seemed to recognize it was unwarranted. The man has done none of the things he promised to do on the campaign trail. Not one thing.

Now, I'm not saying it's not hard running a large Democracy. I'm sure as hell not saying the man's life is easier than mine. I am saying that you don't shoot your mouth off about things you refuse to deliver. Maybe if he hadn't lied to at least 10% of America about his intentions, we wouldn't be so pissed off. And if his administration finds it that easy to belittle his constituency, well, maybe we should be a little more careful of who we trust.

I personally, do not trust Obama to deliver my Civil Rights. He may or may not accomplish other things in office. That remains to be seen. But I do not trust the man to deliver on his campaign promises. Twice, the DOJ - his people - have defended DOMA. Twice, he as asked SCOTUS to drop DADT cases.

He is not my president, yet. He may be, depending on his actions in the near future. But until then, me and my P.J.'s will keep blogging, thankyouverymuch.

I finally watched "Milk"...

Oh, sweet baby jeebus...

I'd seen, and learned most of what I needed to learn, from the documentary. But today, my college sophomore wanted to watch the movie. She was home sick, and I have a bum shoulder this week, so I figured, what the hell, right?

I heard a lot of this gay-bashing growing up. Anita Bryant. Gay prejudice. You're going to hell-because-this-is-Texas-and-we-said-so. I mean, I knew I liked other girls in 71' - but I didn't really worry about it until I hit adolescence in 75'. Which, incidentally, was about the time Ole' Anita hit her peak.

Now, by 1977, Anita was on her way out. The gay establishment (and yes folks, some of our people were established by then) had begun the boycott that led to Anita's bad press and subsequent downfall. Her hatred was no longer profitable, so her sponsors dropped her, to minimize collateral damage.

But like that kid in the wheelchair who called Milk from Minnesota - we Texans were not privy to this new political awareness. Our state continued to live in the total dark ages, as San Francisco slowly oozed it's way out of the dank, musty cellar of homophobia.

Now, more than 30 years later, it's clear that San Francisco isn't completely out of the cellar. Prop 8, coming hours after the election of President Obama, made clear that we have miles to go before we sleep.

BUT! And this is a big 'but' - we have made inroads. Progress, even. While same-sex marriage is only officially recognized in a few states - Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, Maine and most recently New Hampshire - providing none of the anti-gay movements succeed in negating this progress - we have still made an impact.

But it's not enough. It's not enough for that teenage kid that everyone else KNOWS is gay - but is terrified to tell his or her parents. It's not enough for that kid debating substance abuse or suicide to deal with their pain. In short, it's just not enough, people.

No child should have to choose between living honestly with themselves, and pleasing their friends or family. What kind of choice is that?! One of my neighbors, whose child told my child that "by the time you believe in Jesus it will be too late" asked me how I would feel if "one of my kids came home a christian?" And I told her, after asking her how she'd feel if one of her kids came home and announced he's queer - I'd love them anyway! Just as I would expect her to do.

People focus too much on differences - especially when religion is involved. But if you take "god" out of the equation - we are all still people. And we all still need other people. We need our community - differences and all. As Harvey Milk tried desperately to teach them - we need each other.

But we cannot help each other if we focus on hate and differences. We have to focus on similarities, and love. And isn't that what anyone's 'god' is about? The concept of God is about love, that's what I have deduced. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe GOD is this hateful, spiteful, revengeful thing the popular right wing Christians keep talking about. I'd like to think they're wrong about that.

But whether it is or not, as an atheist, I don't have any investment in it. It is not my god. And the idea that my Civil Rights can be determined on the basis of their god - which is not mine - is highly offensive. I pay the same taxes. Should I not have the same rights? Have these people ever *heard* of the concept of separation of church and state?

The irony, to me, is that the same groups that carry signs depicting Obama as Hitler are the same people who would tell me that I am inferior due to my orientation. They, like Hitler - would judge me inferior because I differ from them. They have yet to demonstrate how they are better than me - in fact they seem to strive towards proving their inferiority - yet somehow, on a political playing field, I am determined "less than." All because they are "Christians."

I do not think these people are truly 'Christians'. Of course, it doesn't really matter what I think. The people I would consider "Christians" are not speaking out against the so-called 'Christians' who are doing their damnedest to make queer people - children and adults alike - feel inferior. They aren't making an effort to minimize suicides amongst queer teenagers. They aren't reaching out enough to their communities.

So why SHOULD I distinguish between the far conservative right nut-jobs who don't care if we kill ourselves, and the Christians who claim to care, yet do nothing?

If you care, stand up on this day - National Coming Out Day. Stand behind your mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, friends and neighbors. Leave the baby jeezus at home. Consider your friend or loved one as a human being - like you. Judge them not on their attractions, but on their humanity. Think about what you want for your life - then apply it to theirs.

It's truly the "christian" thing to do. But don't be offended if you find people of other faiths - or none at all - standing up for queer folks. Because ultimately - in case you missed the sarcasm - this isn't even about religion. It's about people, and love, and doing the right thing. All of which supersede religion. Orientation, like marriage, isn't about religion at all. It's about people.

We're here, and we're queer. So, once again, get used to it. We aren't going anywhere. And we sure as hell aren't going back in the goddamn closet.